Why did my Brother Commit Suicide, and Why Does it Happen to Others Too?

He was every brother any sibling wanted to have. He was such a kind, caring and loving brother who did everything and pampered all of us with love and care. Despite that serenity he exuded and the almost perfect attitude and personality that he had shared with us when we were younger, what drove our big brother to commit suicide? Why did he end his life when his only daughter just finished her degree and successfully passed the CPA examination?

My big brother was born on September 7, 1949, only a few years after the World War II successfully ended and would have been 61 this year 2010. Life then was tough made tougher because every place around the world that time was just recovering from the damages the World War II had done. Yet my parents were all that excited because they were blessed with a fine-looking healthy baby boy.

My mother used to tell us the story about oureldestbrother whom they considered as one of the kindest boys in the neighborhood. During those times when family planning was not yet a known word, children came one after the other and couples didn’t mind. In the olden times, a family is considered lucky and blessed if it had several children. So as my parents bore children, my eldest brother was there to help take care of his younger siblings. According to my parents; my big brother who was going to a nearby school used to run home during recess time to wash the baby diapers. My father often told us how we were taken cared by our big brother and that when my brother couldn’t pacify us, he cried with us because of pity. He never wanted anyone of us to cry because he wanted all of us to feel happy.

I knew my big brother as the best brother I ever had. He was a quiet, well-behaved man who never hurt anybody and never did anything that ruined his family’s reputation. His kindness was what people were always talking about. There was this nun who wanted to adopt him in the monastery so that he could become a priest but my mother refused because he didn’t want my brother to live away from us. I would have preferred him to have become a priest and enjoying his priesthood until now.

My brother was often left to take care of us being the eldest child and he never complained. I haven’t known a time when he was violent or even angry with us his siblings. What I could remember are his being thoughtful, caring and loving. The kindness he showed us and every good thing he did were all that were painted in my mind even to these days. So when I was in Hong Kong that time when he died and I received a call that my brother died; I was shocked. I almost fainted when I was told how he ended his life.

I couldn’t imagine how such a loving person like my brother has thought of ending his life when he was only 46. That was almost twenty years ago but the pain still come from time to time when I think of how wonderful he was as a brother. During my college days, he used to write me an inspiring letter. Sometimes he sent me money to add to my allowance.

My brother was my inspiration when I was studying. He appreciated everything I did and inspired me to strive more because he had faith in my abilities and he knew that I could achieve my goals in life. Sadly though, when he decided to support me to pursue my course in law that was the time when I got pregnant with my son. Although I stopped dreaming of becoming a lawyer I always thought of my brother who wanted me very much to become a lawyer.

Why do people commit suicide at a time when it is least expected?

In my brother’s case, it was alleged that he was suffering from a mental disorder because according to my sister-in-law my brother always ranted words that were sometimes incomprehensible. He even told them to hide because some people were hunting them and they were going to kill them. I wasn’t there so I didn’t know about it. The only thing that I knew was that my brother was the best brother I had and I am still puzzled up to now why such a kind and caring person would ever think of ending his life in a very unacceptable manner.

I feel so sad and confused even up to now about the disaster. Why do things like this has to happen to a person who is the least expected person to commit suicide.

This could be a lesson to people. Sometimes, you got to know every member of your family in order to know what’s happening to them. Some people just don’t have the strength to tell what is bothering them until such time that they cannot cope and that could lead to unexpected incidents like suicide.

Suicide is a disastrous event that could happen in a person’s life. This is because the way the person dies is never acceptable and to think that a love one has ended his life this way is unthinkable. Death of a love one is painful and it would be more painful when done unnaturally and suddenly.

I have never thought of suicide as an act that is acceptable nor justifiable. But people who commit suicide have their own reasons why they commit suicide and people have no right to condemn or judge them harshly. When people commit suicide they just want to end their agony and be done with it but some people misunderstand them.

What drives a person to commit suicide?

There are lots of factors that drive people to commit suicide. Love problem is one, unemployment, family problems, unfulfilled dreams, frustrations over something and many more. If one member of your family has a problem, no matter how small you think it is, offer some help and talk because a person who has a problem needs someone to talk to and one who understands him.

Perhaps I haven’t tried hard enough to learn more about my brother. If I had, then things wouldn’t have happened. It will take time before the pain would be erased because as my brother’s birthday is approaching the pain is gnawing in my heart again.